CHAT SESSION 82 with Kaiyah
Topic- Growing up Kaiyah often hid at the back of rooms, wishing to go unnoticed because she was terrified of drawing attention to herself. It turns out, she wasn’t living in a body that felt like hers.
Monday 18th November 2024 1pm https://rppfm.com.au
Kiayah and her journey to self-discovery
Growing up, Kaiyah often felt like an outsider, as though she never truly fit in anywhere. She also struggled to bond with people around her and found it difficult to make connections with anyone who genuinely understood her. Deep down, Kaiyah sensed there was a significant part of her life that was missing, making her feel incomplete.
From the moment Kaiyah learnt to write, she poured her heart and soul into songwriting. Yet, she still doubted the quality of her work because her songs were reflections of her own identity, a concept she is still grappling with today. Writing became a means for her to step into the shoes of others, allowing her to create a persona she didn’t know how to embody, nor accept.
The strict lockdowns in Melbourne brought a new reality; for two years, Kaiyah was alone in her room, forced to confront herself. The solitude provided her with the time and space she needed to explore her identity. During that time, she taught herself to play guitar and piano and delved into songwriting like never before. During lockdown Kaiyah also made an online connection with her best friend, Ro. The connection with Ro had a profound outcome and finally Kaiyah felt respected and understood, like never before. It was at that time she also began to reflect on who she was as a person and who she wanted to be. But at times, the answers still eluded her.
As a teenager, Kaiyah like many others, found herself immersed in social media and the internet, gaining access to a world she had never known. At 14 years of age, she took the classic “Am I gay?” quiz on BuzzFeed, a familiar path for many seeking answers. “Often, when we turn to the internet for validation, we already have an inkling of the truth” says Kaiyah.
This self-exploration revealed to Kaiyah that she had never felt comfortable in her own skin. She grew up hearing that she was destined to ‘break all the boys’ hearts’ yet had no interest in boys at all. She began to realize that love and life encompassed much more than the narrow definitions she had been taught or the stories portrayed in films and songs.
It was at this time Kaiyah began her music career writing and singing, but she shied away from writing about her attraction to women. Her songs expressed feelings of sadness and confusion, reflecting a life that felt incomplete. She avoided addressing her queer identity in her lyrics even though she had come out to family and friends. For some reason she wasn’t prepared to share that part of herself with the broader community, let alone the world. Music is deeply personal to Kaiyah, and she just wasn’t confident nor ready to navigate that territory.
Once the world started to reopen, she felt incredibly grateful to have formed friendships with new people. This also coincided with a diagnosis of Autism and ADHD. It felt like so many pieces of the puzzle were falling into place, allowing her to understand who she was. Kaiyah began to realise and accept that she wasn’t broken, but on the contrary, was uniquely herself. For the first time, she finally felt like she was finding her community, but was also frightened by the person she was becoming. She didn’t know how to embrace an identity that defied societal norms, yet she loved the acceptance and joy her friends brought into her life. This newfound freedom began to seep into her music, transforming her songwriting into an authentic expression of Kaiyah evolving into herself.
In the past year, Kaiyah has undergone a profound transformation. “Trust me. My school photo from last year is unrecognizable and the change goes beyond my appearance. I chose to shed my fears of being seen and embraced the person I’ve always wanted to be—my true self. I have learned that my worth is rooted in the unconditional love and support from the friends who accept me for who I am” says Kaiyah
Kaiyah chooses to express herself through her clothing, hairstyles, makeup, tattoos and piercings. She embraces bold fashion and platform shoes, and for the first time, feels at home in her own skin. Growing up Kaiyah often hid at the back of rooms, wishing to go unnoticed because she was terrified of drawing attention to herself. It turns out, she wasn’t living in a body that felt like hers. But now, she is stepping into the spotlight and refuses to be pushed to the back of the room ever again.
Today, her music is unapologetically her. She performs in outfits that make her feel empowered and shares her songs with bandmates, relishing in every moment. Kaiyah now feels creatively liberated and is writing about an authentic life that truly reflects who she is. She is also embracing herself more than ever before.
“If you’re reading this, I want you to know that your identity is valid, regardless of what others may say. I am endlessly grateful to the community and chosen family around me for supporting my journey. These amazing people are providing a sense of hope and belonging and are continuously reminding me how significant the connection through music can be, for me, and for others.” says Kaiyah
Each day, Kaiyah continues to create music not only for herself, but also for those on their own journey of self-discovery.
There are no age barriers when it comes to self-exploration! From young individuals exploring their identity to those who have already been on that journey and have found their true self, everyone’s happiness matters. And, to those people out there still seeking their truth, it took Kaiyah time to embrace her identity. Remember that you have the power to define who you are, how you identify, and how you choose to show up in the world.
Kaiyah says, “You are worthy, loved, and special. Thank you for helping me feel worthy, loved, and special too”
Follow Kaiyah as she continues to embrace her authentic self and share her music with the world.
My hope is that when you’re looking at yourself in the
‘The Daily Mirror’
YOU SMILE
EMBRACE BEING YOU
AND FIND 10 MINUTES IN YOUR DAY TO NOURISH YOUR SOUL!
To get in touch with Cathy email smileinthedailymirror@gmail.com
'The Daily Mirror' acknowledges Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people as the Traditional Custodians of the land and acknowledges and pays respect to their Elders, past and present.
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